...and I came to a sad, strange realization.....

I actually went on a D-A-T-E the other day. I think I had actually forgotten how these things work. How sad is it that in our modern women empowered society we can forget how to date? Now, let me explain that I have forgotten how to "date" not out of lack of men in my life. There have been more than enough of those. But, out of lack of tradition, respect, and most likely, soberness.

On my way to this date I began to realize I had butterflies. I was quite unaccustomed to this feeling in regard to boys and actually had to question what was going on with me. I realized...I wasn't having indigestion or any other stomach ailment, I was nervous! WTF? Me, nervous, around a boy...? Why? This hasn't happened since I was going to high school football games and didn't yet know the joys of drinking legally!

I must specify that I was not necessarily nervous because of the boy that was involved. He is seemingly nice, cute enough, and someone I have been an acquaintance with for a few years now. I was nervous because I hadn't been on a real date since Clinton was president! I didn't remember what to do!

I guess I should clarify again that I have been on "dates" in the past few years. I am not an old maid who sits around with my cats, or in more modern terms, on Myspace piddling away the hours. OK, maybe I do sit on Myspace a lot, but that's beside the point! I have a lot of boys that come and go in my life. Probably too many if you ask any "decent," "reputable" citizen. But what fun is decent or reputable anyway? I just usually go on dates after I have been naked with the boy of the minute.

Through my shock and awe at my nervous condition on my way to this date I realized I was so nervous because I was used to meeting boys in a much different manner. I've been used to meeting a boy while intoxicated, getting naked, rolling around, and worrying about getting to know them, their last name, and all of those technicalities later. IF necessary. We all know sometimes it is so not worth it to get to know them. I don't use the phrase "Stand there and look pretty" for nothing.

I came to the conclusion that this was the first time I was going on a date with someone I had not already seen in their birthday suit and learned of their sexual prowess in longer than probably is healthy for my mental stability. I also realized that the whole getting intoxicated and naked first approach to meeting boys takes away a lot of the pressure of the whole dating thing. Sad as that sounds, it really does.

When you meet someone drunk, and roll around in the buff with them there's a lot less pressure to "perform" on the date. All of the hard stuff is out of the way. You know the basics about them, you know their basic personality, and you feel oddly comfortable around them. At least this is what I have found is easier for me.

I guess I just didn't know how to act when faced with this strangely different situation. Doing things "the correct way" has never been my method of choice.

In case you are curious, the date went really well. I managed to not drop food on myself and only had one "green thing" stuck in my teeth when I went to use the ladies room. I really hope I managed to avoid him noticing the green clinger I had! We chatted for about 4 hours and I was asked out again. Well, he's supposed to call on Sunday to make plans for next week. He said he wanted to see me again! Yey! I made it successfully through my first real date in forever, and got asked to go out again! Score one for the almost dating virgin! I didn't even almost puke out of nervousness!

I was also very impressed with said boy, and saddened at my past dating history, when it was revealed in conversation this guy highly respects women. I did a major self head slap when I came to the conclusion that this might be one of the major flaws that have been pervading my dating history. Why do I not realize these things until they are shoved in my face? This guy is one of the rare breed that asks girls out on dates to actually get to know them, doesn't get all hot and bothered over those that are dressed like they should be working the corner and having more flesh hang out than a stripper on a Saturday at the bar, and would defend with great fierceness any women in his family. As he put it, "It's a good thing he only has a brother, because his brother and him would drive a sister nuts checking up on her and harassing any boy that even looked at her." She would essentially be able to have no dating life whatsoever. I was endeared.

The only part that tickles my strange bone about this is that this guy is one of a very large circle of friends of my ex. Granted he is only an acquaintance of said ex, but it still makes me mildly uncomfortable. For example, they are both at the same wedding today. I do not need or appreciate large ridiculous shows of testosterone such that my ex has been know to give. Especially when large amounts of alcohol are involved like they will be this evening. The chances of any kind of man clash happening tonight are slim, but the whole possibility of such a situation does not thrill me. I am not a drama seeker, and I know that everyone in this group of friends will make us the hot topic of conversation if we continue dating. This thrills me about as much as a dentist coming at me with a drill and a syringe. Not so much. I love to watch drama unfold, like a real life soap opera, just so long as I am not the focus. But, I guess only time will tell on this one.

So in the meantime, I am actually happy that I got to go on a "real date" in the "proper order" of dating. It made me realize that there might be a few flaws in my past man selection techniques, and gave me some inspiration as to a few of the qualities I should be looking for in a guy.