The day a cow saved my sanity...well sort of

Cows. Yes, I am referring to the 4 stomached, cud chewing, methane producing beasts of burden that stand around pooing and mooing in fields the world over.

Last night, those same cows became my savior....in a messed up rather odd sort of way.

I have been in what I will refer to as a "not-relationship" with a boy I have referred to in past posts as "Mr.No Booty" for about 3 months now. The long and short of it is that it started off being exactly what I was looking for. A guy, who I *gasp* respected (this, I swear, never happens) who I could converse with for hours about any subject under the sun, and then some. Someone that was great and fun in bed, could entertain me, and was a cuddler. I hadn't met a guy that I could talk to and hang out like this with in about...oh...um.....uh....I think 8 years or so.... give or take. So, I started to *gasp again* have feelings for him (again, a sad rarity in my life). As time went on things have deteriorated. I have over analyzed until my brain hurt and was annoying the living hell out of myself. I used to think about him and smile like a raging idiot. Now, I've been thinking about him, which leads to more thinking and analyzing, which leads to another train of thinking and analyzing. You get the sad and really, really, annoying picture.

So, this brings us closer to the part where the cows become stars. Finally, I am annoying myself so bad I decide to rectify the issue myself. I figured previously that this temporary girly insanity would wear off soon enough....to no avail. This of course disappoints both myself and everyone around me. I know everyone (including myself) is secretly hoping I will never mention so much as the first letter of "Mr.No Booty's" name again. Last night as I was trying to sleep, and of course, thinking about Mr.NB and wanting desperately to stop the madness. Through a combination of some inspiration by a friend of mine, which of course veered drastically off target in my Bermuda Triangle of a brain, large amounts of tiredness, and a strong desire to not want to physically rip my own brain out for thinking about irrational things I don't really want and or care about I decided to distract myself. Every time I started the endless cycle of tormented emo-style thoughts of Mr.NB I would think of something else.... Now only if I had something to think about.... OK, so pardon me, but I was really tired and really wanting to sleep, but I thought of cows.

It worked! Sadly for my messed up state of affairs in my head...IT FRIGGIN' WORKED!!!!

Every time I would even have a flash of thought of Mr.NB I would picture cows. You see, I have had a strange love for the bovine creatures (not so much love as to not want to eat them, but love none the less). I developed this love around 8th grade. If I remember correctly, in math class that year we were working in groups. My friend was in a group across the room when I see her making what appeared to me to be very amusing and over dramatic cow milking gestures with her hands. Of course I walk over and ask what the heck she is doing. After large amounts of laughter in that famous, only possible in Jr.High, after an inhuman and unhealthy amount of sugar, hormone influenced way, she explains that she was telling the group about having a dream about driving a car. Somehow our crazed young brains turned it into a great all time favorite inside joke. I have had a special place in my heart for cows ever since.

So, the large, stinky creatures somehow came to my sleep needing brain last night in a moment of desperation to somehow not drive myself mad thinking repetitious thoughts of MR.NB. Yes, I have wondered if thinking of cows instead of a boy is sane...but that's a whole other topic I will leave to the well seasoned mind of professionals who can handle this kind of nutty stuff.

I have to now thank the cows of the world, my 8th grade pal, and my warped sense of sanity for helping me out last night. All day this "bovine thought" has saved me from the circular thoughts of severe annoyance that I had faced. I actually feel better too. I feel like I'm over all of this stuff with Mr.NB and don't really want much else to do with him outside of being friends and laughing at his self-inflicted misfortune he cannot for the life of him see.

HOORAY FOR COWS!!!!

I just hope it will continue to work until I no longer need it....